...you can never go back.

for the past month or so, I have been seeing Arizona license plates all over Austin.

Strange, right? Yeah, I thought so too.

I don't think it meant anything big, but it turned my mind back to AZ. I have been in Austin just shy of 3 years. I realized that one of the things I miss is having people I can call and say "Hey, lets go see a movie," or "I wanna hang out- you busy?" Not to say I don't have friends in Austin, because there are lots of people I care about. Just nothing at the level I had in AZ. I have been missing that a lot lately.

So why am I in Austin? Ultimately, I don't know.

I know that God brought me there to grow closer to Him. That has certainly happened. My relationship is closer to Him than it has ever been, and my life is more on mission than ever. Yet I still have this insanely strong sense of dissatisfaction that seems to be about what I am doing.
The question I have to ask myself is: is the feeling a prompting from God that I am not yet fulfilling my purpose, or is it an internal, unhealthy desire to do more and control what's going on. I am definitely praying about that.

I just got back to Phoenix yesterday. Last time I was here, I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off - helping my friend with his wedding. This time is different. I am able to take time and look around. I am struck by how things have changed, new freeways, new buildings, missing buildings; and how they stay the same. I didn't realize how much I missed seeing the palm trees and the cacti. The weather is perfect, and it's hard to remember how much I really dislike the Arizona summer. Today I plan to go out and take some pictures and meet up with my God sons and best friend.

Tomorrow, those plans are yet to be made. I am taking this short trip one day at a time.

I am thankful I am here, but Austin beckons...calling me back to God's work there.