Back and forth...

Back in August, I realized that God was leading me to move back to Arizona.
I realized at the time that it would be a difficult move, because there are many things in Austin that have taken hold of my heart.

I love that city! I love that it has a hippie edge to it. I love that they support small businesses, that there are trees EVERYWHERE, that the city seems to accept everyone. I love that I can go see live music anytime, in venues that are as varied as the city itself. I don't think I have ever felt as at home in a city as I do that one.

but...

family, my Godkids, friends -- and they all live in the Phoenix area.

God allowed me to fall on my face, several times and in different ways. He has drawn me to Him. Maybe that is what I love most of all. That God used a city that does not live for Him, that rejects our Christian values and beliefs, to bring me into a place where I depend on Him. Where I realize that He has made the plans and that in everything that happens He is sovereign. He knows what He has planned, and I can't mess that up. I have learned to relax into that - for the most part. there are still things that cause me anxiety, but not near as many as before.

I don't know what God has planned for my time in Phoenix. I can't see much past where I will be living, and what I will be doing when I get there permanently.

So now to the back and forth. Since the end of October, I have spent 2 1/2 months in Phoenix staying with my dad. This last trip was only supposed to be a few weeks. I had to delay my return by a month. I am currently in the middle of my final trip back to Austin. I like the drive. I don't mind spending many hours alone in a car, driving across country. In fact, I like it. I like seeing the scenery, watching what cars are around me, seeing who is making the whole trip. More, I like to arrive at my destination. I like getting home, putting stuff away, and relaxing.

This trip I am entertained by a variety of music. Tomorrow, I am planning to listen to some sermons by Mark Driscoll. I am also going to listen to ones from the Stone to catch up on what's been going on there while I have been away.

When I get there I have several goals.
1. I want to finish and post my video for Biggest Loser.
2. I want to get some great photos of the bluebonnets.
3. I want to get to Dallas one last time - and stop at exit 353 on the way home. :)

I have been trying to sell my 94 Jeep. It's not as easy as it seems. The last person who saw it was interested, but they wanted it to be in perfect condition. Its 17 years old! It can't possibly be perfect. But, that's ok. God knows who is supposed to have this vehicle.

we shall see.

I am also watching people around me struggle - too many to mention here. Its interesting praying for them all, asking for miracles, hoping for them, but holding back and waiting, rather than expecting God to move. the balance there is rough. I know He can do anything, but it's hard to see what He is doing, and sometimes hard to know how to pray for what is to come.