7 qualties of women you want to be around.

The 7 Qualities of Women You Want to Be Around
1. they see the strengths, not the limitations, in others. They make you poud to be yourself - because they tell you why you're so special.
2. They trust you so fullythat you feel compelled to meet their expectations. Consequntly, they make you feel like a better person than you normally are.
3. They respect you for what you have done and where you have come from.
4. They are authentic anddon't need you to lie to them to feed thir egos.
5. They live by teir rules but don't expect you to follow them.
6. they are at peace with themselves, so they don't have to prove anything to you.
7. They are goodlisteners and sincerely interested in you, so ou feel important. Because they're available for honest and genuine discussion, they make you want to share yourself.

Going back to the beginning.

Last night, I had a great discussion with a friend of mine. This friend has his Doctorate in Astrophysics. He is a wonderful person I have known more than half my life. We were talking about religion, specifically the philosophy of religion and whether it can be true or not.

This got me to thinking. I really need to go back to the beginning and tell the reason I have for my faith. Last night we spoke about truth. Much of what he used in our discussion was to show how truth may not have been preserved. Okay. I can deal with that. I found the following website (http://biblicism.wordpress.com/2008/07/02/who-says-jesus-existed/) quickly, and it seems to be just what the Dr. ordered! (pun intended!)

I am going to spend some time working on the historical events of Jesus, because my friend is not likely to recognize the Bible as the source of authority. I don't blame him. It is like a person who has stolen asking you to believe that they are not a thief.

So...We shall see where this goes. I am excited for this challenge, as I am excited about how both my friend and I will be affected.

If you are a prayer warrior, please pray for both of us!

Christa

Two years and one day.

July 3, 2006 I arrived in Austin, Texas.

Since then, much has happened. I do not have time to list it all here, but my life is different in some pretty incredible ways. God has become more real to me than ever, and I am more in love with Him than I imagined possible. When I moved here, I did so on faith. I knew that God had led me here. It has been quite the rollercoaster ride of fun that has resulted in the most amazing 2 years of my life.

There are still times when I miss living in Arizona. I had a comfort zone there, and was really not looking to leave. I do admit that I did dream about leaving occasionally (usually when it had been over 100 degrees for 3 months or more), but rarely was it more than a dream.

As much as I like irony, I really enjoy the irony in my life. I have been patriotic my entire life. I love our flag and what it stands for. I do not always like what we do, but I celebrate a group of men who separated themselves from an tax crazy government. I love that at this time when fireworks sparkle in the sky and brass bands play the 1812 Overture, I am also celebrating my personal independence. I left much behind and it has been difficult, but not as difficult as staying would have been.

I look forward to the next two years!

Happy Independence Day all!

Waiting and growing

You know...when I was a baby Christian (which lasted a much longer time than I would have imagined) I used to think that God would renew my mind at the snap of His fingers. I wanted the easy solution. I have discovered that most of the time I am unaware that He is making changes until I look back and see the changes in my life.

Most recently, God has been drawing me closer to Him, and He is not doing it in a way that I would have begun to think would even work.

April of last year, God gave me a specific vision. The vision came after a time of struggle during which I gave up something in my life directly to God. I released my hold on it and gave the desire I had up to Him. The day after I gave it up, I had the vision. When it happened, I wrote it down and then began to pray about it. I figured the vision was one of three things; 1 - from God, 2 - from Satan as a distraction, or 3 - from my subconscious because I had not truly given it up. The last of the three grieved me the most.

I did not think about it much for a few weeks because it rattled me so strongly. After a few weeks, I spoke with a very good friend of mine to run it all by her. I told her the entire story and at the end of it, she told me she thought it was from God. Another friend prayed blindly and told me that she also thought it was from God.

At the time, I wanted it to happen quickly. I was SOOOOOO excited. I could barely contain myself. I knew that I could not share details, and still can't for that matter. But I did ask a few people to pray that God would help me remain patient for His timing and that I would learn all I needed to learn.

It is 14 months since the vision. God has used this time to bring me closer to Him than I have ever been in my life. He has asked me to depend on him in my financial life and in everything I have and am. God has not done this quickly, but He has done it. :) I have been brought to a place where I knew some of what God wanted/wants from me, but knew that I was unable to do it on my own. I sobbed harder than I have in a very long time and told him that I knew I was not able to do it. I did not know how. I asked Him to help me with those changes.

Do I still struggle with the old me? Yes, sometimes. More so when Satan is whispering in my ear. I know those are attacks, but do not always recognize them immediately. I am working on that.

As for the vision... God continues to give me strength and hope - even when it seems hopeless. He gives me confirmation that He is still working on this in my life. I continue to pray that I do not block His work and that others involved will go with Him through whatever they need to so they are prepared as well.

I know that God loves me - more than I can even begin to understand. I know that He has a plan for me. I just have to continue growing closer to Him and allowing Him to change me.

I hope it is soon...this waiting is difficult.

Christa

Here I am just outside of Seattle. I am staying in a little town called North Bend. (for some reason, I keep thinking about South Bend Indiana...) I have been here since Wednesday night, and I am loving it. I am about 35 min outside the city, and it is amazingly gorgeous out here. There is a river that runs right behind the house where I am staying. All I have to do is go out about 50' and there it is! It is gorgeous and I can hear it all day long.

On Sunday, I visited The Pathways church in Mill Creek. The pastor at that church went to Central Christian Church in Mesa, Arizona at the same time I did. I found out that one of the people who also goes there (John Chandler and family) are moving to Austin in the next month. From that, I have had a flurry of new (old) friends on Facebook. Several of them I have not spoken to in several years. Most of these are people I met about 10 or 11 years ago. We were all in the college group together. I found out that almost all of them are married now with kids.

I know that God has a plan and timing for my life. I just feel so left behind. I am going to be 35 this year. When my parents were this age, I was turning 11! It is now getting to that time when being pregnant is more risky for me. I am concerned about this. I know that God has been working on me...and I am getting caught in the trap of comparing my life to that of others. I need to ask God to help me stay focussed on the things He wants me to learn.

So, a few tears have fallen, but I know that it is going to be great the wayGod has it for me.

What is worship?

The Bible tells me that true worship of God is to serve his people; feed the hungry, visit those in jail, clothe the naked, take care of widows.

I am asked to love God with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind. Love him...

What does it mean to love him?
We all know the Biblical definition of love - patient, kind, keeps no record of wrongs...etc (1 Corinthians 13). God is love. We are not love, but we can be in love, we can have love.

Is worship then a form of love? Can it be more than love? Can it be less than love? Can it be something other than love?

First back to my original question...what is worship?

Millions of people around the world worship gods. They do many things from the mundane to the absurd, to the extreme and violent.

Why do people do these things in the name of worship? What is it that they are trying to accomplish. It seems that there should be a point for the rituals and ceremonies we perform. Is worship a form of earning praise or attention or even favor in the after-life? Sometimes. Is worship a way to absolve a person of their guilt and shame? I think it can be an attempt to do so.

These questions come up because I just watched "The Fountain." It occurred to me as I was watching this movie that the main character loved his wife to the point of worshipping her. He could not conceive of living without her. She found peace in the idea that her body would become part of the earth and would become part of the grass and the trees...and therefore would feed the birds and fly with them. She would become part of what is in nature. That was enough for her. He saw her peace with this idea and clutched this with all he had. He did not believe in the idea, he believed in her. The movie is too complex for me to explain here. It did get me thinking...

He could not live without her. Was his trust in something trustworthy? No. I think that if something is going to save me from the life I have, it has to be bigger, be more than me - by quite a lot.

I will have to finish this later...I got distracted by a phone call with a few friends.

This will be worked on this week! (I certainly have the time to do so!)

me.

I love what God is doing in my life these days. Some of what He is doing I am unable to share as of yet, but I will as soon as I am able.

What I can share, I will.

Last October, I put my two weeks notice in at my job. The idea was that it was time for me to work my Primerica business full time. That was MY plan, that was not God’s plan…God seemed to approve this step, but for completely different reasons. God used the next two and a half months to bring me to a place where I completely trust Him to provide for me. The full effects of that time are still in discovery. From the beginning of November to Mid January, I made approximately $200. Certainly not enough to live on. Several things happened to support me during that time, most of which was help from my parents and the emptying of my savings account.

I found that I spent much of that two months dealing with all sorts of garbage from my past – emotional mostly. God was helping me to face anger that I had buried, and to heal from some past scars. He was also teaching me to forgive myself and trust in who He made me to be. I was right that God was tearing down so that He could build me back up. I am quite thankful for that time…though it was not easy going through that time. I am sure I would not have dealt with so much so fast if I had not left Progressive.

By mid January, I decided that it was time for me to go get a job. I needed money pretty quickly so I put some applications in on line, and then I went to a temp agency. My plan was to get into a temp- to hire situation and be on with a company in pretty short order. When I went in, the agency said they had a job they thought would be a good fit. Unfortunately, the job did not start until the end of February. I told them that would be fine, but if any temporary jobs came up I would appreciate the income. I was told in pretty short order that those kind of jobs very rarely come up. I was not worried, I knew I had God on my side.

Within two days, I had a job offer for 1 day, then was asked to report to another job the next day. That job was with a physical therapy clinic as their front office staff member. It was a pretty perfect fit – if you ignore the corporate office! I met two very nice people, Mills and Stacy, and a few that I do not get along with so well. God provided peace and grace with the person I did not get along with.

From the beginning, I was told that the clinic really liked me and wanted to hire me full time. I gave information to have a background check done and prepared to become an employee. There were a few hiccups along the way between the employment agency and the company. These became a major problem. So much was the problem, that I was told my assignment had ended as of Friday May 3rd. At first I was shocked. I was not totally surprised, but to have it done with no warning… Then I found out that Mills did not know either. I had to tell him! I can’t even begin to understand why he was not the one to tell me. He offered to give me any kind of recommendation I might need in the future. He is very appreciative of the work I did for him and the clinic.

Now, it starts all over again. This time, however, I have this amazing sense of peace. The Bible describes that as a peace that passes all understanding. It is right…I don’t understand it, but I certainly feel its presence. God is AMAZING! I am perfectly aware of my responsibilities, but I am not at all worried about them. This last week, God has provided for me in an amazing way.

The week after I left the clinic, I was able to get in about 16 hours of work. I figured this meant that I would get paid round about $100 or so. I know that is not near enough to live on, so I prayed about it. I asked God for food and for gas. I figured the rest of it would work itself out.

On Thursday, I was headed home after work, and I realized that I did not have very much to eat. I was reminded that my friend had told me I could come over any time. When I arrived, she had just finished cooking dinner. She asked me to stay, and I was not about to say no! She then asked if we could hang out later that night. I agreed. She ended up taking me to the grocery store with her. I was not thinking anything of it because this family is on government assistance. They are in the same boat as I. She is on WIC, and told me on the way to the store that there is too much food on the certificate for them to eat in a week. She wanted to give what she did not need to me. SO, I left the grocery store with: 2 ½ gallons of lactose free milk, 2 bunches of bananas, a loaf of bread, a med size jar of peanut butter, 1 dozen eggs, 2 quarts of apple juice, rice, olive oil, garlic, lentils, black beans…almost too much food for ME to eat in a week!

I was thrilled. If I had tried to do it on my own, I would have been eating out of cans the entire week. God provided fresh, good food. Wow!

Friday, I went to a visit a new friend. God had introduced this woman to me at the Women’s conference earlier this month. When I left her house, I did so with $120 in my pocket. I did not ask her for the money. I did not tell her how bad things are right now. She told me she knew that I needed the help, and handed it over to me.

I also got a rebate check in the mail (not the IRS one…) that I have been waiting on for about 2 months. God is always on time!

I have also been learning a lot about my past behavior. God is showing me loud and clear how I was not honoring Him with money. He is teaching me to trust Him with EVERYTHING I have, that includes my paycheck. I am not by any means proud of how I used to behave, but I am glad I get the chance to start over and begin again. I look at this time period as a chance to build on God's foundation, not my own. I am really understanding the man who built his house on sand!

This week should be pretty good. I am getting paid again this week, and my mother is coming to visit on Saturday. I am picking her up at the airport that afternoon. She is in town until Tuesday, and then I am leaving Wednesday night to go to Seattle for almost 2 weeks.

The Seattle trip was planned before I knew that I was going to be struggling financially. As John said yesterday, “sounds like another opportunity to trust God.” I could not agree more. While I am gone I will be loaning my vehicle to a friend who is moving during that time. I don’t mind helping her out…I would hope someone would do that for me if I needed it.

So, I am excited about the upcoming months. God is moving powerfully in me and hopefully through me. I can’t wait to see what He is going to do next!

A few weekends ago, I went on a women's retreat. It was an amazing time and God showed me some incredible things! The theme of the weekend was Shalom. I am not going to take the time now to explain the depths we dove into on that topic. I will, however explain just a little bit about what God taught me that weekend.

The last session of the weekend, we were using scripture to directly combat specific lies that keep us from shalom. These lies came from our first session. The lies chosen did not resonate with me. I felt God asking me to read the verses that had been chosen to combat the lies. I read through them. Matthew 6:25-31 really stuck out to me. I have read those verses and have heard many sermons about those, but not in the way God wanted to speak to me.

Basically, He told me that the flowers and the grass are beautiful simply because God made them to be that way. If I, who am more cared for than those, are made in God's image, how can I be anything less than beautiful? The simple answer is that I can't be anything but beautiful!

now comes the hard part...getting my head and my heart to believe it. Though that is proving easier than I thought.

Last night I was watching my friend's little boy, Tenyson, for a few minutes while she went around and socialized. Another friend came and joined me. Her little girl, Nadia, was playing with Tenyson. I was laughing with them both and encouraging the interraction between them. Tenyson got my attention (I think he was trying to get my glasses or some such action...) and Nadia said the coolest thing. She tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear, "Miss Christa, you are beautiful!"

How sweet of God to give me such an honest compliment from a child in a time when I was not expecting it! I gave her as big a hug as I could and thanked her very much!

God is awesome!

me

Holy Cow!

It has been three months since my last entry. It is not that things are even keel, but I guess I fell into the same trap everyone else does. The "I'll do it later..." trap.

So now, I have to catch up a bit.

February was not too notable. I was learning my job at Town and Country. I really enjoyed working with Mills and Stacy. They are great people. I did not like working with K - enough said. I did not do anything with Primerica, though I should have been. \

March - in comes Easter. Ah Easter. This is my second Easter here in Austin. Last year, I went to lunch with people from KidStuff. John Murchison hosted that one at Papacito's. It was GREAT. I had a good time last year. So, when I found out he was hosting another one this year, I decided that I would go. I had tentative plans with a family, but they ended up falling through. This year, John and his parents (and sister) hosted a dinner at the church office. It was potluck, and went very well. In fact, I think it went better than last year. It was easier for us to hear, and I got to meet some people I did not know very well. John's parents are great! I enjoyed meeting them.

At Easter dinner, I met Shaun. He leades a KidStuff small group and after a lengthy conversation, he invited me to join. I had been looking for a new group. The last one I attended kind of fell apart. I have since joined the group and am very much enjoying these new people.

The rest of the month was pretty calm.

April - Usher in the 1 year anniversary of my vision. Things are still in progress, I will post stuff here when I am able to talk about details. If you are reading this, please just keep it in prayer. ASk that I be patient and allow God to work in His timing. I despirately do not want to ruin anything through impatience or rash action.

At the beginning of the month, Adam, Stephen, Travis, Ian, Dave and I got together to start work on the KidStuff CD. The rehearsal pretty much tanked. I am sure that Adam was much more disappointed than I was. I am still in prayer about this, I know that God put that on Adam's heart, and I want very much for it to be a great ministry tool for the families of our church.

May - May has been a bit tumultuous. When I say a bit, I definitely mean more than that. HOwever, through all the craziness, I have peace. I know that God has given that to me, so I am thankful. I know that He is taking care of me and He knows what I need. The difficulty in this is that I am going to Seattle for 2 weeks at the end of this month. That makes it difficult to work the business, and to have any income coming in. Well...we shall see. I know that God provides, and I trust Him to do so this time too.

I have just been given a tip for a place to go check out. I shall add it to my list...

Pedernalis Falls State Park. Evidently it is right down the road. The cool thing is that the Law Firm I am working at right now has protected the ranches around the park so that they will not be developed! Yippee!!!

that is all for now. I really should lighten the data load on this computer!

me.

January 27, 2008

What a day… My understanding – such that I can have – of God has irrevocably changed. I am not yet sure how to integrate this change into my life, but there seems to be some settling at the deeper levels of me. I shall back up a step or 10. J

For as long as I can remember, my word for life has been “fair.” It is how I view the world. It is how I relate to it, and how I feel about it. I know that the world is not fair, but as much as I can, I attempt to be that way myself. People know me to be that way. Everything I have learned about God up to this point has shown that to me as well. However, I have missed quite a bit. I don’t know if I deliberately skipped over it, or whether I willfully disregarded it because it flew completely in the face of what I think and feel. I am guessing it is a bit of both.

I have never been of the opinion that some people were chosen by God at the beginning of time to be His own people and others were not called and have no hope of ever attaining heaven. I have held a view of free will. Every man has the chance to choose Christ. I have believed that if we do not choose, or neglect to choose, we go where our choice leads us.

Now I am not so sure I was right.

What has not changed:
I know God is Sovereign
I know He created us
I know that God sent his son to earth to pay for Sin and true belief in Christ saves us and allows us entry to God’s presence.
God loves us, he has plans for us.

What has changed:
Per scripture (Rom 8:28, 1 Cor 1:22-24, and others) God gives us the faith to believe in Him.
He chose us from the beginning to be His people – just as He did the Jews in the Abrahamic covenant.
I used to think that if we are not free to choose Him, then we are not much more than trained monkeys or programmed computers. Now, I am not so sure.
My sin condemns me to hell, God’s purity does not allow anything impure into His presence. The fact He reaches down and saves me at all is a miracle. Focus on that will get me through this.
Per Paul (NT) I cannot understand why God does what He does. I have to be like Job and accept that I am inadequate to judge God and decide what is fair. If God were fair, he would leave me where I am ultimately destined.

I am not there yet, and I certainly cannot figure out how to explain this to other people. I know that Brian and Mel as well as almost every other Christian I know will argue with me about this when I open my mouth about it.

On the other hand, this news comes as a bit of a relief. If it is God who has either chosen them or not chosen them, it is up to Him to do the saving. I still have to reach out to them, but it is up to God to breathe His life into their souls. There is also a humility that comes with recognizing that I should be in Hell and to be saved at all is a miracle. It makes putting a fish on the back of my car, or a cross around my neck, or a bracelet on my arm pointless. To do so is like advertising I am part of an exclusive club. It is better for me to learn more about the character of God and allow Him to do the work. There is an immense amount of relief in this understanding.

The big thing that I wrestle with is: Why is hell so awful if we don’t have a choice whether we go there or not? I get it being awful if we have chosen to reject God or were apathetic to Him…but if there is no choice…why? To spend eternity so tormented because God did not choose them. Do people weep and gnash their teeth because they are separate from God and are feeling the full weight of that loss?

I have been talking about this for a few weeks with my friend Deanne. She has believed the above for some time, and asked me why I did not. I told her all my reasons, and knew she was thinking of me during the sermon today. She said something very important to me a few weeks ago. She pointed out that in the Old Testament; God very specifically set the Jews apart from all the other nations. In many cases, he wiped out those other nations. Much of our teaching is that the OT is allegorical for how God continues to work. SO, her point is that if God specifically set apart a group of people as His own before Jesus came, why should it not be the same now. Sacrifice was a foreshadowing of the price paid on the cross.

NOTE: It is mentioned by Jesus that Abraham was saved by his ____________ . I want to look that up to see what the reference is.

Honestly I am leaning towards what Matt has to say. Towards his teaching today that completely sets my world on end.

I know that today I felt God with me more than I have ever during a service. He was giving me chills the entire time. God brought me to the Stone. God brought me to Austin and put in my past a close friend who struggled for years with this same issue.

Those who God will save still need us to reach out to them. Our kindness in the world is still appreciated and needed. The behavior that comes with being a Christian does not change because of HOW I become saved. God is still with me – in fact, it is more of a blessing that He sent His son and cares enough to answer prayer and to help us out in time of need. Blessings become sweeter with this revelation. I did not see how special my salvation was before. I am getting glimpses now. This is enhancing my view of God instead of diminishing it as I had thought it would do.

It has been a year and a half since I moved to Texas. I love it here. I feel like this was the place I have been meant to be. God has been working on me and in me since I got here. Not that He was not working before, but this is different. I am in a place where I have to focus on Him. He has my attention, and I am glad for that. Sometimes his idea of work is to completely demolish and rebuild from scratch. The demolition process sucks! I have to admit I am looking forward to the rebuild. I can see glimpses of where He is taking me, and I am excited to become that person.

I have taken several chances recently. One of them is not working out the way I thought, however I am happy with my life.

I don't have much else to say. I know this has been ambiguous, but I am not able to be more specific right now.

My prayer is that I will be able to learn all God has for me, and that I will let go of the things I no longer need.

In Him,
Christa