I heard a friend of mine talking about TV marriages some time ago. I did not pay much attention because I don't really watch much TV.
That has changed since Netflix has entered my life. Now, I am not sitting around watching TV shows 24/7. I do find, however, that once I start a show I must work through the series until I am finished with it.
My friend mentioned the husband and wife in Friday Night Lights. It's not a show I have watched, ever. Not that I am opposed to it, I have just never found time. Instead I find myself watching shows like Castle (no married couple...), Burn Notice (no married couple), Chuck (yes married couple, and decent, but not the main event), and Medium.
It's the last show I am interested in. The husband, Joe, is fantastic! He is everything that you would want him to be. He is strong, speaks his mind, supports his wife - even when she is going WAY out into left field - and raises his daughters in a loving yet firm way. I'm not saying they write him to be a perfect man. He is not. He gets angry, frustrated, acts selfishly (very occasionally), and does not always handle things in the best way. However with all that said, he is what I would want women to be looking for.
Yes, I said that. No, he is not a Christian, nor is he meant to be (on the show), but I find myself impressed by how he has been written. I am not saying that we need to go off and chase non-believers. not at all. Christ says that we should not do that, and I would not tell anyone to do that either. What I say is to look at who this man is. Look at his character. He is honest, trustworthy, intelligent, caring, a protector, and yet gentle when he needs to be. He speaks his mind to his partner and to others, and always supports his marriage.
If there is one thing I have learned, it is what a man of God looks like.
He is trustworthy.
He is gentle
He is strong
When there are questions, he goes to scripture.
He leads in prayer,
He knows how to lead others.
He allows people to make the mistakes they need to, does not judge when they go off the path, and is there to help them once they come back.
He points out where people are falling short of God's best in their life, and even where they are turning a blind eye to the Lord.
He has a personal relationship with Jesus and God that has nothing to do with anyone else. This allows him to do all the things above.
He also realizes that he is flawed. He knows that it is not him that does the things listed above, it is Christ through him that does this.
This man commits all his ways to the Lord, and trusts Him to provide in all circumstances.
Does this mean that you, oh friend, are not a Godly man? It is possible. However, I know someone who can help you with that, but you have to let Him. He will get in there, muck around and change things up so that you don't know which way you are going any more. That's a good thing! He is teaching you His ways, and His ways are not our ways.
Do I have a crush on this fictional character? Nope. Because I know that the best of what I like about him is where I see God shining through my computer screen.
Thank you God for worldly examples of what we CAN be.
Thank you God that Christians can always expect to find people who do not follow Christ that are more moral than we are (Tim Keller, Reason For God). They prove to us that our standing with God has nothing to do with merited behavior. We do not EARN anything. God chose us because he wanted to, not because I am "good" enough or perfect in my speech. He chose to give me life in Him, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
I love YOU Lord,
me
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Saying goodbye...
So, many people don't realize this, but I'm an introvert.
What does this mean?
Basically it means that I regain my energy by doing things on my own. For me, recharging happens when I can be alone... reading, thinking, playing on the internet, taking a walk, for the most part, anything I do by my self - except tasks (chores, errands, etc).
I know, I know, if you are a typical extrovert, you are shaking your head and thinking - wow, that stuff drains me! So, think about this... What is it that energizes you? is it sports? parties, hanging out with people, going bowling? Yes? I thought so. That is the very stuff that drains me. Don't get me wrong, I like doing those things. But when I get home, I take a deep breath and spend some time with just me, because no matter how much I like you or how much fun I was having - my batteries were getting drained.
I like people. I care about people. I do best in one on one situations, or in cases where it is just a few of us.
Now that I know how deeply ingrained this is in me, I can ask God to help me during times where I am people or task saturated. He can help me get past my grouchiness, my lack of desire to be around everyone when I am just tanked out. I know that he can love everyone through me, regardless of how tired I am, or what my attitude is that day.
I am SO thankful that I don't have to rely on me to do this! I am even more thankful that He can do this because I know He will give me words to speak. I'm so greatful for His presence in my life!
What does all this have to do with saying goodbye?
Tons.
yesterday marked 1 week until I move from Austin. I don't think I have ever felt so sad to be leaving a place in my life. I love Austin. I have since I stepped off the plane the first time I visited. There is something about this crazy, WIERD city that just does it for me. To me there is this amazing feel to this city. It is progressive, intellectual, a bit on the hippy (yes like the 60's) side, a little new age, and yet it is God's city. I love it here. It is physically beautiful. Lots of green grass and trees all over the place. The skyline lights me up. I love the shapes, the lights, the different buildings. Town Lake (Lady Bird Lake to others) reflects the skyline, and during sunset it lights up all orange. Wow. Stunning. The landscape is rolling hills, roads curve around and take you in a different direction than you think they will.
I love love love love love this place.
Saying goodbye to everyone here is hard on several levels. So, if I have been cranky or grumpy lately it is because I am spending a ton of time away from home, partying, chatting, praying with people - talking, playing games and in general spending no time with me. I'm doing relatively well.
and then there is today. Today I am feeling SO tired! (I'm guessing part of that is the crappy food I ate last night) but I have declared today to be a phone free, email free, facebook free zone. I am going to get home, watch a movie, and just relax. Ok. maybe do some laundry... but I really need to get that done too!
I would go to a coffee shop, but I know that I will possibly bump into someone I know. Nope, home is safer.
:)
What does this mean?
Basically it means that I regain my energy by doing things on my own. For me, recharging happens when I can be alone... reading, thinking, playing on the internet, taking a walk, for the most part, anything I do by my self - except tasks (chores, errands, etc).
I know, I know, if you are a typical extrovert, you are shaking your head and thinking - wow, that stuff drains me! So, think about this... What is it that energizes you? is it sports? parties, hanging out with people, going bowling? Yes? I thought so. That is the very stuff that drains me. Don't get me wrong, I like doing those things. But when I get home, I take a deep breath and spend some time with just me, because no matter how much I like you or how much fun I was having - my batteries were getting drained.
I like people. I care about people. I do best in one on one situations, or in cases where it is just a few of us.
Now that I know how deeply ingrained this is in me, I can ask God to help me during times where I am people or task saturated. He can help me get past my grouchiness, my lack of desire to be around everyone when I am just tanked out. I know that he can love everyone through me, regardless of how tired I am, or what my attitude is that day.
I am SO thankful that I don't have to rely on me to do this! I am even more thankful that He can do this because I know He will give me words to speak. I'm so greatful for His presence in my life!
What does all this have to do with saying goodbye?
Tons.
yesterday marked 1 week until I move from Austin. I don't think I have ever felt so sad to be leaving a place in my life. I love Austin. I have since I stepped off the plane the first time I visited. There is something about this crazy, WIERD city that just does it for me. To me there is this amazing feel to this city. It is progressive, intellectual, a bit on the hippy (yes like the 60's) side, a little new age, and yet it is God's city. I love it here. It is physically beautiful. Lots of green grass and trees all over the place. The skyline lights me up. I love the shapes, the lights, the different buildings. Town Lake (Lady Bird Lake to others) reflects the skyline, and during sunset it lights up all orange. Wow. Stunning. The landscape is rolling hills, roads curve around and take you in a different direction than you think they will.
I love love love love love this place.
Saying goodbye to everyone here is hard on several levels. So, if I have been cranky or grumpy lately it is because I am spending a ton of time away from home, partying, chatting, praying with people - talking, playing games and in general spending no time with me. I'm doing relatively well.
and then there is today. Today I am feeling SO tired! (I'm guessing part of that is the crappy food I ate last night) but I have declared today to be a phone free, email free, facebook free zone. I am going to get home, watch a movie, and just relax. Ok. maybe do some laundry... but I really need to get that done too!
I would go to a coffee shop, but I know that I will possibly bump into someone I know. Nope, home is safer.
:)
Monday, May 09, 2011
God has not forgotten you...
Recently a friend of mine posted on her Facebook page:
God loves you. God loves you. God loves you. God doesn't reject you, hasn't forgotten you, isn't punishing you. God loves you.
What a great reminder.
There have been many times when I felt lonely, left behind, forgotten - or even just getting the "left overs" when it came to God's provision and promises. Sometimes that's because God's discipline was in place, not due to what I had done - but what it would bring me down the road. He has held things back from me while He refined me, changed me, grew me, and asked me to be closer to Him. I don't fully understand how much I am loved by God, and I suspect I won't until Glory.
However, I like to think that the struggles I face, and the challenges that are overcome are not done so through my efforts. They are overcome when I rely on God to handle them for me. This does not mean that I tramp through life, letting things happen. In fact, it means the opposite. I consider all things (ok, working on that) through Christ. I go to him with just about everything. I ask him questions, love on Him, and over all Trust him to guide me in the way I should go.
I have not always liked where I was led (at the time) but in retrospect, every thing He has done I have ended up understanding and appreciating.
So that "one thing" that I wish had not happened is now a beacon of God's provision and faithfulness. I pray that He continues to open my eyes so I may see more clearly how and where He is working.
God loves you. God loves you. God loves you. God doesn't reject you, hasn't forgotten you, isn't punishing you. God loves you.
What a great reminder.
There have been many times when I felt lonely, left behind, forgotten - or even just getting the "left overs" when it came to God's provision and promises. Sometimes that's because God's discipline was in place, not due to what I had done - but what it would bring me down the road. He has held things back from me while He refined me, changed me, grew me, and asked me to be closer to Him. I don't fully understand how much I am loved by God, and I suspect I won't until Glory.
However, I like to think that the struggles I face, and the challenges that are overcome are not done so through my efforts. They are overcome when I rely on God to handle them for me. This does not mean that I tramp through life, letting things happen. In fact, it means the opposite. I consider all things (ok, working on that) through Christ. I go to him with just about everything. I ask him questions, love on Him, and over all Trust him to guide me in the way I should go.
I have not always liked where I was led (at the time) but in retrospect, every thing He has done I have ended up understanding and appreciating.
So that "one thing" that I wish had not happened is now a beacon of God's provision and faithfulness. I pray that He continues to open my eyes so I may see more clearly how and where He is working.
Friday, May 06, 2011
Approval of Man
Tuesday night I got my hair cut. It was a drastic change. I went from long curly hair to short straight hair. Several people did not recognize me. How wonderfully flattering! It felt great getting all that attention - just because I chose to make a change on the outside.
When I got home, I realized that the approval of others, especially a few who are close to me, was very important to me. I wanted them to like what I had done. Heck, most of the time I cut my hair, no one notices. Because I always do the same old thing. The motive behind cutting my hair was not to get attention. Frankly, it had gotten long, and with an upcoming move to Arizona, I felt that summer hair was the way to go. I went with something different than my norm as well. This was more a reflection of the new, bolder me. The one who makes choices based on what she wants, not based on a complex series of thought and pondering. The one who wanted to try something new, even if it is more daring.
See, even now, I am making excuses, explaining why I chose to cut this off! Frankly, it's just hair!
But if that's the case, why does it make me feel so much better? It's that approval idol creeping up on me and smacking me on the back of the head.
So this bit of rambling is just that... ramble, ramble, ramble.
Thank you Jesus, for showing me just how much I seek that approval. Please help me to let go of it. Thank you!
When I got home, I realized that the approval of others, especially a few who are close to me, was very important to me. I wanted them to like what I had done. Heck, most of the time I cut my hair, no one notices. Because I always do the same old thing. The motive behind cutting my hair was not to get attention. Frankly, it had gotten long, and with an upcoming move to Arizona, I felt that summer hair was the way to go. I went with something different than my norm as well. This was more a reflection of the new, bolder me. The one who makes choices based on what she wants, not based on a complex series of thought and pondering. The one who wanted to try something new, even if it is more daring.
See, even now, I am making excuses, explaining why I chose to cut this off! Frankly, it's just hair!
But if that's the case, why does it make me feel so much better? It's that approval idol creeping up on me and smacking me on the back of the head.
So this bit of rambling is just that... ramble, ramble, ramble.
Thank you Jesus, for showing me just how much I seek that approval. Please help me to let go of it. Thank you!
Saturday, March 05, 2011
foolish plans of mere mortals.
I have enrolled in a photography class given through my church. Yes, through my church. There are 2 units to this class working congruent to one another. The class as a whole is about storytelling. There is a unit for writers and a unit for photographers.
The point of this class is to learn how we can use our talents and artistry to show off what God is doing, and share His glory. The second goal is to get better at the technical aspects of my craft. I am excited about both these goals. As an artist, I feel that my gifts are often overlooked, or don't really have a place except to make cheap knockoffs of what is already out there. I serve the God who created the universe and everything in it. If I am made in his image, then some of his creativity lives in me too. I have struggled with how to use that, and in fact, how to tap into it (in many instances).
My first week of class was great, we had discussions surrounding what I have written above. This week, we discussed more about our purpose, and about story in general. then we were given an assignment. We have to create 5-10 new photographs that tell the story of our life from a 10,000ft view (overview?).
At first, I was overwhelmed. Luckily a good friend helped me brainstorm and gave me some great ideas about how this series is going to work. I have about 8 ideas, with rough ideas for a few more (hoping that editing goes smoothly). Thursday morning, i sat down and made an outline of what i wanted, then created a shooting schedule. So far, I have 1 down. 2 of my scheduled shoots have been postponed, 1 due to missing props, and 1 due to weather. I am by no means deterred. Tomorrow I have planned to get most of them done. I'm pretty excited to see how the rest of this shoot goes.
I am excited about this one enough to print them and hang them as a series on my wall. Just so that God can remind me of who I am.
The point of this class is to learn how we can use our talents and artistry to show off what God is doing, and share His glory. The second goal is to get better at the technical aspects of my craft. I am excited about both these goals. As an artist, I feel that my gifts are often overlooked, or don't really have a place except to make cheap knockoffs of what is already out there. I serve the God who created the universe and everything in it. If I am made in his image, then some of his creativity lives in me too. I have struggled with how to use that, and in fact, how to tap into it (in many instances).
My first week of class was great, we had discussions surrounding what I have written above. This week, we discussed more about our purpose, and about story in general. then we were given an assignment. We have to create 5-10 new photographs that tell the story of our life from a 10,000ft view (overview?).
At first, I was overwhelmed. Luckily a good friend helped me brainstorm and gave me some great ideas about how this series is going to work. I have about 8 ideas, with rough ideas for a few more (hoping that editing goes smoothly). Thursday morning, i sat down and made an outline of what i wanted, then created a shooting schedule. So far, I have 1 down. 2 of my scheduled shoots have been postponed, 1 due to missing props, and 1 due to weather. I am by no means deterred. Tomorrow I have planned to get most of them done. I'm pretty excited to see how the rest of this shoot goes.
I am excited about this one enough to print them and hang them as a series on my wall. Just so that God can remind me of who I am.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Back and forth...
Back in August, I realized that God was leading me to move back to Arizona.
I realized at the time that it would be a difficult move, because there are many things in Austin that have taken hold of my heart.
I love that city! I love that it has a hippie edge to it. I love that they support small businesses, that there are trees EVERYWHERE, that the city seems to accept everyone. I love that I can go see live music anytime, in venues that are as varied as the city itself. I don't think I have ever felt as at home in a city as I do that one.
but...
family, my Godkids, friends -- and they all live in the Phoenix area.
God allowed me to fall on my face, several times and in different ways. He has drawn me to Him. Maybe that is what I love most of all. That God used a city that does not live for Him, that rejects our Christian values and beliefs, to bring me into a place where I depend on Him. Where I realize that He has made the plans and that in everything that happens He is sovereign. He knows what He has planned, and I can't mess that up. I have learned to relax into that - for the most part. there are still things that cause me anxiety, but not near as many as before.
I don't know what God has planned for my time in Phoenix. I can't see much past where I will be living, and what I will be doing when I get there permanently.
So now to the back and forth. Since the end of October, I have spent 2 1/2 months in Phoenix staying with my dad. This last trip was only supposed to be a few weeks. I had to delay my return by a month. I am currently in the middle of my final trip back to Austin. I like the drive. I don't mind spending many hours alone in a car, driving across country. In fact, I like it. I like seeing the scenery, watching what cars are around me, seeing who is making the whole trip. More, I like to arrive at my destination. I like getting home, putting stuff away, and relaxing.
This trip I am entertained by a variety of music. Tomorrow, I am planning to listen to some sermons by Mark Driscoll. I am also going to listen to ones from the Stone to catch up on what's been going on there while I have been away.
When I get there I have several goals.
1. I want to finish and post my video for Biggest Loser.
2. I want to get some great photos of the bluebonnets.
3. I want to get to Dallas one last time - and stop at exit 353 on the way home. :)
I have been trying to sell my 94 Jeep. It's not as easy as it seems. The last person who saw it was interested, but they wanted it to be in perfect condition. Its 17 years old! It can't possibly be perfect. But, that's ok. God knows who is supposed to have this vehicle.
we shall see.
I am also watching people around me struggle - too many to mention here. Its interesting praying for them all, asking for miracles, hoping for them, but holding back and waiting, rather than expecting God to move. the balance there is rough. I know He can do anything, but it's hard to see what He is doing, and sometimes hard to know how to pray for what is to come.
I realized at the time that it would be a difficult move, because there are many things in Austin that have taken hold of my heart.
I love that city! I love that it has a hippie edge to it. I love that they support small businesses, that there are trees EVERYWHERE, that the city seems to accept everyone. I love that I can go see live music anytime, in venues that are as varied as the city itself. I don't think I have ever felt as at home in a city as I do that one.
but...
family, my Godkids, friends -- and they all live in the Phoenix area.
God allowed me to fall on my face, several times and in different ways. He has drawn me to Him. Maybe that is what I love most of all. That God used a city that does not live for Him, that rejects our Christian values and beliefs, to bring me into a place where I depend on Him. Where I realize that He has made the plans and that in everything that happens He is sovereign. He knows what He has planned, and I can't mess that up. I have learned to relax into that - for the most part. there are still things that cause me anxiety, but not near as many as before.
I don't know what God has planned for my time in Phoenix. I can't see much past where I will be living, and what I will be doing when I get there permanently.
So now to the back and forth. Since the end of October, I have spent 2 1/2 months in Phoenix staying with my dad. This last trip was only supposed to be a few weeks. I had to delay my return by a month. I am currently in the middle of my final trip back to Austin. I like the drive. I don't mind spending many hours alone in a car, driving across country. In fact, I like it. I like seeing the scenery, watching what cars are around me, seeing who is making the whole trip. More, I like to arrive at my destination. I like getting home, putting stuff away, and relaxing.
This trip I am entertained by a variety of music. Tomorrow, I am planning to listen to some sermons by Mark Driscoll. I am also going to listen to ones from the Stone to catch up on what's been going on there while I have been away.
When I get there I have several goals.
1. I want to finish and post my video for Biggest Loser.
2. I want to get some great photos of the bluebonnets.
3. I want to get to Dallas one last time - and stop at exit 353 on the way home. :)
I have been trying to sell my 94 Jeep. It's not as easy as it seems. The last person who saw it was interested, but they wanted it to be in perfect condition. Its 17 years old! It can't possibly be perfect. But, that's ok. God knows who is supposed to have this vehicle.
we shall see.
I am also watching people around me struggle - too many to mention here. Its interesting praying for them all, asking for miracles, hoping for them, but holding back and waiting, rather than expecting God to move. the balance there is rough. I know He can do anything, but it's hard to see what He is doing, and sometimes hard to know how to pray for what is to come.
Saturday, November 06, 2010
Amigurumi
I like crafting. Crocheting specifically.
Recently I was at my friends house and she showed me these wonderful projects that she had been working on. They were the most adorable animals made from crochet. Of course, I had to look them up.
It seems that the original idea was Japanese and the designs were meant to be knit. Some enterprising woman, created all these wonderful crochet designs that are well...wonderful! I bought a few books from Amazon, and brought them with me (along with a small yarn stash) to AZ with me.
So far, I have made a cupcake, a cup of coffee, a monkey, and an elephant. They really are easy, taking a few hours each for the first run through of the design, and are going to make wonderful gifts!
I'm pretty excited about that.
I am going to take them to the hospital with me so that I can work on them while Dad is in surgery. I hope I can get at least one more design done to add to my collection.
I love finding new ways to be creative!
Recently I was at my friends house and she showed me these wonderful projects that she had been working on. They were the most adorable animals made from crochet. Of course, I had to look them up.
It seems that the original idea was Japanese and the designs were meant to be knit. Some enterprising woman, created all these wonderful crochet designs that are well...wonderful! I bought a few books from Amazon, and brought them with me (along with a small yarn stash) to AZ with me.
So far, I have made a cupcake, a cup of coffee, a monkey, and an elephant. They really are easy, taking a few hours each for the first run through of the design, and are going to make wonderful gifts!
I'm pretty excited about that.
I am going to take them to the hospital with me so that I can work on them while Dad is in surgery. I hope I can get at least one more design done to add to my collection.
I love finding new ways to be creative!
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