Amigurumi

I like crafting. Crocheting specifically.

Recently I was at my friends house and she showed me these wonderful projects that she had been working on. They were the most adorable animals made from crochet. Of course, I had to look them up.
It seems that the original idea was Japanese and the designs were meant to be knit. Some enterprising woman, created all these wonderful crochet designs that are well...wonderful! I bought a few books from Amazon, and brought them with me (along with a small yarn stash) to AZ with me.
So far, I have made a cupcake, a cup of coffee, a monkey, and an elephant. They really are easy, taking a few hours each for the first run through of the design, and are going to make wonderful gifts!

I'm pretty excited about that.

I am going to take them to the hospital with me so that I can work on them while Dad is in surgery. I hope I can get at least one more design done to add to my collection.

I love finding new ways to be creative!

Home again...

I have been in Arizona just over a week now. It is about as I thought it would be. I am spending a lot of time at home. I am doing some cleaning, trying to get stuff in order, basically trying to prepare for my actual move here.

I did go see a movie with a friend, went to dinner with a couple and their little girl. I made the little girl cry big alligator tears.
I have checked out a new church. I enjoyed myself. God was there, it was amazing! Just as it always is when he shows up.

I have been invited to the same church by two completely unrelated people. Why? I don't know. Is that God speaking? could be... we shall see. I will have to wait until next weekend to have more information.

Preachers I am listening to right now:
Mark Driscoll
Matt Carter
John Piper
Matt Chandler

Driscoll is so blunt that I love it.
Carter, love him so much.
John Piper makes me thing. (as they all do) but he confounds me sometimes. I have to go back and relisten so that I can make sure I understood what he said.
Chandler - not sure about him yet. I like him, but have not delved into his messages yet.

I have no idea what awaits me here. I can't wait for God to show off what he is planning.

Arizona

It's done.

My time in Austin is drawing to a close. I did not think it would be so soon (4 years) I would be happy to say here the rest of my days. However, I know that God does not often allow that. I know that he brings us places for the good of the Kingdom, and we don't always understand what has been going on.

I think of my time here as my wilderness experience. It saddens me to leave, I love this place. There are many people I have befriended who have made amazing impacts on my life. I will miss them.

On the other hand, I am excited to go back to Arizona. I get to spend time with my family, with good friends, and with my God-sons. I get to know them! I am so excited about that. I also feel that God is asking me to start a home church. Get to know other believers, and spend time with them in the Word, soaking it up. Living it out. Sharing it with others.

So, these next few months are filled with sorting, and selling. Preparing, packing, and squeezing every drop of Austin experiences out of the time I have left.

Reminders.

It's been almost 4 years since I moved to Texas.

During that time much has changed, but have I?

I have to say that I have.

I have heard a lot recently that God will allow you to go through a lot to bring you closer to Him. For me, that has not been as much as some, but more than I wanted - that's for sure!

Who was God to me when I moved here? I will say that I knew Him, believed in Him, was trying to live for Him. However, the relationship I had heard about, the depth of knowing, and being in Him was missing. I did not understand (and in many ways still don't) how much I was missing His presence in my life.

God brought me here to allow Him to change my heart, to challenge my life, and to help me remove the blinders I had on.

I sang on a stage because I could. Because I knew that was something I was good at. I did sing to God sometimes, but not near as often as I could have. Often I was distracted; thinking about cues and being thrilled by harmonies; and even thinking about what other people were doing/feeling. I was not often taken up and focussing completly on my God, on the one who gives me life! I have tears welling in my eyes as I type this.

I had thought that the best thing I could do with my life - and amazingly enough the only thing that will fill my empty parts - would be to get married, raise children, and love my husband. I yearned for it SO much that I raised it to idol status. I put it in front of my relationship with Christ, I used it as a measure of my self esteem, and even judged my worth based on how many of my friends were still single or in relatinships. You know - on that score sheet, I could not help but lose. God has not yet shown me who or if I will spend any of my life married. I do want that, but I know and am trying to trust that He knows what is best.

That is an amazing struggle. To let go and trust that God is working all this out for the best life, and for the best for His kingdom. I am sometimes not resigned to spending the rest of my life as a single woman. I worry about lonliness, and am concerned about retirement, and yes, sometimes my self worth is wrapped up in worldly things and measurements. I find it very hard to look at myself as valuable to God, loved by Him. I often don't think of Him through the days, minute by minute, knowing that He is in every detail of my day - from my dead car battery to the customer who screamed at me for her husband's mistake.

Currently I have Shane and Shane, Psalms in my ear.
the song - the Answer just came on. Here are the lyrics:

I've tried more of me
and I've come up dry
trading You for things
things that go away
My happiness is found in less
of me and more of You
my happiness is found in less
of me and more of You

Ihave found the answer is to love Youand be loved by You alone
Alright! Alright ! Alright!
You crucify me and the world to me
and I will only boast in you
Alright! Alright! Yeah!

I'm so satisfied
at the thought of You
growing up in me
covering everything
my happiness is found in less
of me and more of You
my happiness is found in less
of me and more of You

*************************

What beautiful words!

I used to be the person who drew attention to things about me before others could because I NEEDED the attention, or the approval, or both. It's not like that now. It is easier for me to let it go when I feel the need to say something about my new haircut, or to be loud in a conversation just because I feel I won't be heard. I have done that and more.
God has been healing my heart and my soul.

I am reading in Hebrews right now, and I found the following in Chapter 4.
Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it. ²For we also have had the gospel preached to us, just as they did; but the message they heard was of no value to them, because those who heard did not combine it with faith.

A call to faith. A requirement to trust. A reminder to rest. Rest!
To rest, recharge, to allow God to restore my soul one day during the week. Do I let HIm? Not as often as I should, but I am making steps - everything is steps with me. rarely do I just jump right in. (even though it may seem that I do) I know God can do things immediately, however, will he? not often, at least not in my case. and that could have everything to do with how stubborn I am.

So today, I remember to thank God for all He has done for me. To rest in His restoring power, and especially to try and feel that I am loved truly and deeply by God.

Amazing.