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In other news, I have been dealing with a question that my roommate brought up. The essense of the question is about sex before marriage. I have been doing some extensive searching and have not found a specific instruction saying not to have sex before marriage. It speaks about lustful behavior, and there are references to God celebrating virginity in heaven - which I think speaks volumes, but nothing clear cut.

I have prayed about it, and the answer I got is that it has to do with the commitment to God. Do not have sex outside of marriage because you have not yet made the commitment to God. Otherwise the whole thing breaks down. If there is a difference between having sex while in love with someone besides it just being about lust, then why do we have marriage? What is the point if something God gave us as a gift can be used outside that commitment to God? If two people think they love one another, really think it, and have sex and then do not get married - is that wrong? Yes. If engagement is the key, why does God not talk about engagement - he does with Mary and Joseph, but it is also implied that there could be horrible consequences if Joseph were to leave Mary. It refers to it as a divorce - showing that engagement in that culture means something different than it does in ours. In our culture, engagements come and go (so do marriages...but that is another topic) they are not the strong commitment they were in Jesus day.

So again, is it ok to have sex before marriage? God says not to commit adultary. Adultary is defined as a married man or woman having sex with an unmarried partner. Both can be guilty of adultary. That is a message about married and unmarried people revering the state of marriage and its importance to God. Ok. What about unmarried people? Am I reaching to say that God wants to protect the marriage bed? Should we be protecting it before we get in it?

Another key verse - "the two shall cleave together and become one flesh" from Genesis shows that marriage is more than just a commitment to God, it is a commitment to one another. I think that it also shows that when two people come together, their joining is more than just bodies, it is hearts, souls and spirits joining.

I just looked up the word cleave in the dictionary. The difinitions are as follows:

1. To split with or as if with a sharp instrument. See Synonyms at tear1.
2. To make or accomplish by or as if by cutting: cleave a path through the ice.
3. To pierce or penetrate: The wings cleaved the foggy air.
4. (Chemistry) To split (a complex molecule) into simpler molecules.

I was a bit confused for a moment - but I think the third is the clearest. To cleave foggy air, wings have to move through and change. The fog does not stay the same as the wings move through it.

Is that the clue? Do we know this is happening when someone begins to move us and leave us not changed? No, because there are many people who have been that kind of influence to me. But, I think that it can alude to us moving and making room for that person, that will change us permanently. It changes our shape, and becomes part of us. I think that is the difference. I also begin to think that sex is not the object here, it is an outward expression of what we feel for one another-a gift from our creator.

So how does this fit with the story of Lot's daughters who got their father drunk and got pregnant with him. Their children were blessed by God. Was he considered married to them? I tend to think no because he was not even aware that he was the father. The Bible does not specifically say that what these women did was wrong, but do we see any other women doing that and being applauded? No. Who's to say that God did not recognize their sin but did not choose to make that a part of the story. My roommate used that story as part of his argument. I think that it is a mistake to think that just because it is not said in that story that God was ok with the conduct of these women.

My conclusion here is that God's commands about purity are about the marriage bed. Sex is powerful and affects the soul. I think that even if we love one another, we need to honor marriage by not having sex before marriage - just in case something happens and we do not get married to that person, or the relationship. We may be acting in love - truly but we are acting outside of a commitment to God.

Christa

Thank you for letting me think that through. I know that I ramble a bit...but it is helpful to my thought processes.